May summary:
Eclipses, A lot of movement into Aries in the chart, Mercury Retrograde
Special news:
I’m taking a break from offering any readings until the end of August. I will be taking this time off for the next four months to focus on my own projects and personal life. I plan on continuing to write these horoscopic newsletters, which you can support through sharing with others, telling me what you enjoyed, or donating whatever you feel like at this link. 😇
May is a hot flash. It is unrelenting in its pursuit for new possibility. It asks for your energy and drive. And it offers shortcuts that emerge out of demolition as well as whirlpools that bring you to new portals.
And before we jump ahead, what was the last month even? A flash of sweetness, connection, openness, redemption, coming home to the heart… or a type of fantasizing that took you out to sea, far along the edge of projection…
I’m writing from out in that sea. I crush with a heart that is so wild, it is proof that the heart beats. This heart leaps, dashes, blushes, and hides around the corner. I want to temper it, and scold, “be still.”
But times like this remind me not be so arrogant as to believe that I can be this rational, cool-headed adult. Or this idea: that just because I provide for myself, I don’t need anyone or anything.
No, I’ve realized what “I love you” means for me recently. When I say I love you, I mean, I need you. If you no longer existed, a part of me would die. When I say I love you, I mean it like this. The time we have together is always limited. A part of me in loving you is actively choosing a life where I will feel an inevitable and unceasing grief. I mean this ‘I love you’ towards friends, lovers, family. It means, you matter so much to me, and I want to mean this much for you. I don’t want to live in detachment to avoid this pain. So don’t be still, child-heart.
And the nature of this desire - the unwavering truth underneath it - is that because I desire, I am desirable. If desire can roam free, I can see into its heart: that it is not one that seeks perfection, respectability, power, or status. I fall in love with people’s ability to stand strong in their sense of self, their stunning honesty, open-heartedness, imagination, choice to trust in love even after betrayal, the feeling of them laughing after crying, the way they sing at karaoke, the way they notice traits and details in other people … I fall in love with people’s capacity to love themselves and the world.
Desiring is its own food and fruit. It doesn’t need realization to be enjoyable. And in April, I returned home to this place. A place where desire (especially love and romance, but also intimacy, to feel important to someone else) is experienced as a special ride, an especially delicious wave. Desire, separate from a fantasy that has strict parameters for escape, that is.
And what is redemption, if not a return to love? To be in the grasp of depression, lack of desire to live, arrested in loneliness, suspension, heartbreak, or fear but to be rescued by love. By the eternal memory of love that comes before us and will continue after we are gone. We return to that place.
In May, gears shift. There are eclipses, Mercury Retrograde, and plenty of planets moving into Aries. There’s even a Gemini New Moon at the end of the month as well.
These movements initiate a new stance: the proof is in the pudding. And we are jumping into pools of pudding, pudding playgrounds, pudding fashion shows and dinner parties and fight clubs. The most important proof is our ability to spin around, to challenge, to push the bounds of the thing in the moment. To devour the Moment as dessert or sausage.
I urge you this next month to pay attention to the action. The actions others take, the ones that itch on your skin, the ones that scare you so much but make you feel alive. The Scorpio Lunar eclipse (on 15th/16th) is especially dramatic. There may be a grumbling in your stomach or a breaking of a dam. Let go of the need to have control over the narrative. Let go of letting other peoples actions dictate the story of your life.
You have tremendous energy to get involved, so see where you want to spend that energy. Please report back, I’m curious how things go.
Also, go confess your love to your crush.
Horoscopes: What to expect in May (abridged)
read for rising sign
Taurus:
Possible relationship endings or negotiations, strong-handed authority, self-inflicted pressure to make a name for yourself, unpaid bills, new ways of organizing your possessions, alone time, multi-versal strategies and battle plans
Gemini:
Letting go of old survival strategies, purging, stomach rumblings, communication mishaps, friendship adventures, going after your dreams
Cancer:
Saying goodbye to certain forms of creativity or romance as you move towards communities and groups that affirm your interests and pleasure, another chapter in the story of how you deal with loss of control and death.
lost communication, intercepted dreams/nightmares, dashing forward towards new legacies and authority
Leo:
Relationship restructuring, shaving off the excess, saying goodbye to certain sense of home
Communication mishaps and chaos in the organizational space, possibly exciting travel or embarking on new studies
Virgo:
A release in a form of thinking and partaking, especially seeing things always in the framework of give and take. Things getting rerouted in the space of authority or workplace, and a leap of faith and energy in entanglements, the working through of grief and attachments
Libra:
A release in financial matters, in what you possess, and a rerouting in travel plans, or study plans, or a spiritual endeavor. A leap of energy in your love life and in who you meet in the world. See if some hyperactive or challenging people crop up in this time.
Scorpio:
A release in your sense of self, your identity. Rerouting in the way you are digging through information in entanglements, intimacy, and lots of energy to get your life together
Sagittarius:
Release in the subconscious, in the space of the subliminal, illegible, undefinable. In the wounds that are passed down by generations, and the underground conflicts and betrayals
Rewiring the way you build relationships, the partnerships, people you meet out in the world, or even clients
A space of abundance in creativity and romance, seems spicy
Capricorn:
Focussing on your craft and pleasure, and allowing the people/audience for this to shift as you change. Understanding your self-worth as separate from these ebbs and flows.
Rewiring and setting communication aright in the workspace, labor space, daily ritual
Feeling sparks of energy around home, family, and the private self!
Aquarius:
Moving into more privacy, more personal care, as you shift away from as much public attention. Grounding this move with a discipline towards your self-expression.
Rewiring the way you relate to your creative and romantic passion. Repeat conversations, or mixed messages, abound.
Influx of energy to aid in your writing and communication projects.
Pisces:
You’re coming into the everyday moment and mundane rituals and stepping a little away from the spiritual roadmapping and off-grid adventures. You’re challenged at this time to really examine the ways you undermine yourself.
Rewiring the frayed ends inside the home space, renovations or pests could be prevalent!
And feeling a brisk gust of wind in the house of finances, beware spending more than you have!
Aries:
Establishing your worth and value includes a release in grief, death, intimate entanglements.
Mercury Retrograde may play itself out in this season with many communication mishaps, rerouted travel, neighbors poking around, etc.
You could also grow strong and muscular during this time as well.
It is very poetic and beautifully written